Kids say the funniest things!

Kid’s say the funniest things. And at children’s birthday parties it’s no exception. There innocence and obliviousness to what goes on around them makes them so open and honest to say what ever their thinking at any given time. And often what they say is very funny. Being a professional kid’s entertainer (known as Froggle), I have stumbled upon a number of hilarious moments that children have said during my children’s entertaining days.

The most recent of which was when I asked a 5 year old birthday boy if he was married.

To which he replied ‘No I’m only 5. You can’t get married until you’re a grown up.’

‘You’re absolutely right.’ I said. ‘How silly of me.’

I then pointed to one of the girl’s in the crowd and asked him if he wanted to marry her when he was older. To which I got back the response. ‘No silly! When I get married I’m going to marry a boy.’

I couldn’t help but laugh at the kid’s response.

There have been many quirky moments I have stumbled upon during kids birthday parties. I hear of children’s entertainers coming back with all sorts of funny stories. I’ve had one kid run up to me and thought it would be very funny to tell me that he wasn’t wearing any underpants under his trousers!  -Not sure why he felt the need to tell me that but anyway.

A mum asked me to gather the kids round a table before bringing out the cake one time. She wanted it to be a surprise so we didn’t tell them it was time for cake.  As everyone was gathered, the lights went out I asked the kids. ‘Wow the lights have gone out everyone. What do you think that could mean?’

‘POWERCUT.’ shouted one of the kids! – I love the kid’s rational thinking.

I love my job and I love making kids laugh, and more often than not they make me laugh too.If you’re going to be a children’s entertainer you have to love being silly. Fortunately I do and little moments like these just add to the highlights of the job.

I think I must get the more enjoyable side of the job than most as I have heard of children’s entertainers being spat on or even bitten! Yikes.

I have managed to put my foot in it once or twice though.

After making a really impressive bicycle balloon for a birthday girl, amongst many other balloons like flowers, fairy wings and a monkey in a tree, I asked her, in front of all the kids and grownups watching, if she’d like me to give the balloons to her mum to look after. There was an awkward silence and the girl looked at me rather crossly, and said. ‘My mummy’s dead!’ – Yikes! How was I to know? No one told me. I should add though that she grabbed the balloon and very quickly had a smile on her face again as she scooted off to give the balloons to her Dad.

I did a magic trick with a girl that was 5 years old. The trick involved making water disappear from inside a jug. We pour water into the jug, we say the magic words. ‘Banana Pants!’ At this point I ask  ‘a very brave volunteer’ to let me pour the jug of water over their head to see if the water has vanished. If the trick works then the water will vanish and they won’t get wet. If it doesn’t work then they may not need bath time tonight. The girl bravely volunteered and when I put to her the possibility of her getting wet. She retorted ‘ I’ll let you do it but I tell you Froggle if you get me wet I won’t be happy!’ Yikes! This kid spoke like it had the mental age of a grown up. Scary! Needless to say I didn’t get her wet!

One kid, decided to get into stand up comedy early. During tea time he said ‘Froggle I want to tell you a joke.’

‘Why did the toilet roll go down the hill?’

Answer: ‘So he could get to the bottom.’

What was amusing at the time was the kid stood up on a chair to get the centre of attention and felt the need to point to his bum to emphasise the punch line.

Needless to say, being a kid’s entertainer is a lot of fun. It’s not for everyone. I certainly didn’t think I’d be doing kids birthday parties for a living. I trained as an actor at first but now I wouldn’t look back. Hearing the funny things kids say at each party is one of the many reasons that makes it so much fun. You never know what’s coming.


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Filed under Diary of a clown

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